Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Competitiveness.

I have never really considered myself a competitive person.
Generally I don't care about winning too much.
I'm perfectly fine playing a friendly game of whatever.

But, I do, generally, like to be good at what I'm doing.
If I get frustrated during a "friendly game of whatever" (a rarity), it's not usually because I'm losing, but because I'm not doing well.
Ask my dad about me crying because I came in 9th at a gymnastics meet or crying because I couldn't perfectly anatomically draw a football player at the very experienced age of 6.

So, last night when we were at our second childbirth education class, we were watching more videos of childbirth. I felt like I should feel terrified, but I actually felt a deep sense of confidence. Again, I just kept feeling like, "I can TOTALLY do this." It was so strange and almost counter-intuitive to watch these women panting and breathing heavily, with pained looks on their faces and thinking at the same time about how confident I felt about doing the exact same thing.

And then our instructor was talking about pushing and the importance of listening to your nurses coaching you and continuing to push through contractions and everything in my brain was saying, "I want to be AWESOME at that."

This might sound masochistic or something, but I'm almost looking forward to it. Like I looked forward to pre-season volleyball boot camp. Or doing a 20 mile run and then sinking into a bathtub of ice. Kind of a "bring it on" kind of feeling. You know?

4 comments:

  1. After the birth of each child I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment - like I was the only woman who had ever given birth to a child. I can equate it with finishing a triathlon, especially the first one, but it's so much more. At the end of it you have this amazing person to hold and love! Enjoy! And labor and delivery stories are the best!

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  2. You will totally rock at it! It is amazing how your body just kind of takes over and you can "feel" your way through it. However, you should listen to your nurses and use those pushes to their full potential. I can't wait to hear your story and hear all about this little girl!!!!

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  3. I loved having my girls! I loved being pregnant; I loved the process of labor and the amazing-ness of delivery, and I loved sharing it with my sister and other people in my family. Very soon you will have your own birthstory, and I will listen to every word! Hooray!

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  4. It is going to be amazing! You are going to be amazing! I can't wait to hear all about it and to meet your sweet little girl (my sweet little niece.) I'm glad you left your classes feeling determined and not terrified. It always makes me sad when women are so scared of labor that they would just rather have a c-section.

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